swinging only means you're in between
by Younger Dr. Grey
Summary: Lacey and Jo's conversation on the swings didn't end where the show stopped it. Jo/Lacey, with mentions of Danny/Lacey. (Happens during 1x08, before Lacey goes back to help Danny clean)


"Isn't it always confusing?" Jo asked. Lacey wondered where Jo even got this knowing tone about dating. She knew that Jo hadn't been with anyone other than Tyler. Yet, Jo acted like she knew everything, like she had the right words to say to melt through Lacey's defenses. Jo added, almost as an aside, "I bet it's worth it though. If you do find the right guy."

"You'll find him," Lacey found herself saying, as her eyes drifted off into the space in front of her swing. "He'll whisk you off your feet and tell you you're pretty. He'll, uh, look at you, and your whole body will light on fire, and all you'll want is to be with him."

Jo groaned softly. "Don't talk about your ex like you're still in love with him."

"I'm not talking about Archie." That got Jo's attention. Lacey stared pointedly ahead. "It's hypothetical."

Jo didn't seem convinced. She nodded anyway. "What happens next? Hypothetically."

Lacey could have backed down, but that wasn't what they did. She glanced over to Jo. "You kiss him. Not some weak kiss either, one that's so strong he doesn't know what hit him. Then you realize what you did and you let him go."

"Sounds unrequited."

"He comes back. Wants more. Wants more than you can possibly give him, but you can't stop. You don't want to stop. You want more too."

If Jo noticed the way Lacey's voice got deeper, Jo didn't mention it. In turn, Lacey didn't mention the way Jo's eyes darkened and paused ever so slightly on Lacey's lips.

"You sound like an addict."

Lacey looked up, eyes locking with Jo's. "Love's addicting."

A little grin. "Do you, um, remember when we were twelve and we said that no one else could ever understand us?" Lacey did. Mostly, she remembered what happened next. Jo stopped swinging entirely, planted her feet so she could better lure their past between them. "You said we might as well stay together forever. Said we could become lesbians and marry each other."

Lacey fought to get the words out, eyes widening and breath churning back into her lungs the moment she tried to let it out. "I was kidding."

"You meant it. I meant it too. Back then, I would've done anything for you."

"Except stop talking about Danny."

Jo glanced away. "Yeah, except that."

Silence settled in. Lacey cleared her throat. Then again. "You said, 'back then.' What would you do now?"

Jo waited until Lacey looked over to speak, made sure their eyes were locked. "I wouldn't do it for you. I'd do it for me. But I wouldn't mind having someone understand me and see me, the way you see me."

Lacey shouldn't have asked. She shouldn't have let this conversation go there. She had Danny. She really liked Danny. She liked kissing him and touching him and being with him. Yet, "I wouldn't mind it either."

Jo chuckled breathlessly. Her voice came out dry, sarcastic almost, "Want to, uh, not mind together sometime?"

Lacey rolled her eyes. "That was the worst pick up line I've ever heard, Masterson."

"You've got a better one, Porter?" She did. She shouldn't say it though. She couldn't. Jo sang out, "I'm waiting."

Lacey sighed and got up from her swing. She scanned the road for anyone before planting herself in front of Jo's. After placing one hand on each swing strap, Lacey bent her knees so she could be at face level with Jo. The reaction she got was pretty quick.

Jo's smirk faded into that wide eyed expression she wore so often. Lacey had been telling herself for years that she hated that look. Mostly, she hated the fact that she couldn't do anything about it. Couldn't make Jo come out of her shell, or kiss the confusion away. Couldn't admit to herself what she really wanted.

"Jo," Lacey began, her focus flickering from lips to eyes and back again, "I think what's confusing is when we tell ourselves that we don't want something that we can't stop thinking about. We fight it and fight it, but aren't you tired of that?" Lacey brought her face a little closer, made her voice a little lower. "Aren't you sick of denying this? Everyone thinks they know us, but they don't. They can't. No guy's ever going to be worth it. You will be, one day, if you let yourself be. If you let us be."

Jo couldn't speak. She opened and closed her mouth, licked her lips, kept blinking and staring and wavering in this little rocking motion that would probably have sent her falling into Lacey's arms had Lacey not moved a hand to Jo's neck to steady her. Jo watched those fingers trail up and get lost in her hair. Lacey watched Jo watch. Slowly, Lacey leaned in until her forehead could rest against Jo's.

Lacey whispered, "Now that's a pick up line."

Jo swatted at her. Lacey chuckled, and Jo laughed, but it all sounded too forceful. Besides, neither of them moved to put any space between them.

"If you don't move, I'm going to think you mean it."

"I mean it. You mean it too." Lacey pulled her head back and frowned. "Meaning something doesn't make it happen though." She stood up. She let go of the swing. "We should probably head back inside." She started to walk away.

"Lacey!" They both froze. Lacey glanced back. Jo fumbled her way into standing. "For what it's worth, Archie's an idiot for not fighting for you."

Lacey grinned, but it didn't reach her eyes. She said, "I'm the idiot, Jo." And Jo looked confused until Lacey added, "For letting you go." Then she turned back towards the house completely and led the way back to Danny, back to how things were now. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe they really could not mind again.


End file.
